I heard one of the worst (i.e. corniest) jokes the other day. Let me tell it to you so then you will know one of the worst (i.e. corniest) jokes.

Why did the cactus cross the street?

Because it was stuck to the chicken!!

I know! It's a groaner, but I can't help remember groaner jokes. One of the many reasons why I refuse to do stand up comedy. (And why people pay me money not to do stand up comedy)

I contemplating doing something with my hair. It's kind of blah... but I'm pretty sure if I get a perm, I'll have a curly fro. If I get it dyed, I can only go darker, because it just doesn't work to go lighter with my hair (too thick). I'm not cutting it because it just got a nice length. Any suggestions? I'm not one to 'style' my hair per sey. It's usually in a half pony tail or nothing.

OK, that's about as much time as I can muster thinking about hair. Let's turn to something I actually like... Bones.

While femur bones are enticing, I was talking about the show. I have become horribly addicted to watching it after I spent a weekend watching all of season 1 on dvd. Now I youtube it like crazy and just plain out can't get enough of the characters! My favorite is the grad student, Zach Addy who is completely naive about the world around him. He's a lot like me... except male, skinny, tall, intelligent... ok, well he REMINDS me of me. If you haven't seen this show, it's remarkable! It's on Fox after American Idol (ppft)on Wednesdays. So Check it out.

Nothing else to say... this is one of those zip-a-dee-do-dah days and I get to go to the Plunge and have a great time with IVCF tonight! Woot!

Current Mood: crazy

I am officially procrastinating. My 20 page paper is due on the eve of Tuesday (2 days from now) and I am currently at page....13? Yeah, ok, two days to do 7 pages... 3.5 pages a day... gahh!!!

*deep breath*
ok.

I just need to focus and stop blogging. But I just *had* to blog... haven't done it all semester!

heh, ok,
talk to you later
amber

Current Mood: anxious

Among other things, I posted a list of quotes I think are quite favorable. Some are funny; others are reflective; and still some are just things to know. But that's not why I am writing today. Why am I writing today? Good question.

God has given me time to reflect these past few weeks. It's easy enough to just float through this life, unattached to anything or anyone, without a care in the world... but it get's a little tricky when you start to care. Caring is the hard part about life. Caring is part of this thing called a 'soul'. In truth it's part of what makes us human. God could have made us completely independent of one another, but no. He created us to be interdependent. We were not made to be isolated. When God was in the business of creating and begetting at the very beginning of it all, he CHOSE for humans to be this way. It's in our nature. It's what we do and what we are.

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs at us. It is not dogs, reptiles, monkeys, or trees which feel, act, and REact to what life gives us. God, in His humor, tends to take our plans- the plans we create for ourselves- and crush them. I think He'd say something like, "It's not your job to be making plans- it's Mine."

My life can attest to that. In the past five years I have planned on various occasions. Marriage, job, college major, even where I wanted to live- all of that has changed. I'm not married, my job has changed twice, major has changed twice, and I've moved. God's good grace has made me both motion sick and able to travel without throwing up all over the person next to me (I've been close). God has given me a strong need to be in control and a family in which I have no control over. I can't even help them. He has given me a great many things to be proud of, yet instructs me to be humble. The great part about this is the fact that none of it is in my plans... but it is all in His.

I emplore you to not heed my advice, but look to God for His advice. These are things He has shown me; I can only imagine what He shows everyone else. I am not a great person. I have done my share of horrible things. It is not a surprise to me anymore when bad things happen. As the band, Relient K, has noted, "The end will justify the means it took to get us there." I'm getting there; if this band is anything close to right, then where I'm going is worth all of it. It's a great worth.

Enough of that, here are some lighter things to keep in mind. Cheers, love- Amber.

"This is track 2. It's called, 'Monster eats the pilot'."- Charlie, LOST

"Friends don't let friends go to hell."- Art Marmorstein

"Who wants breakfast? I have papaya and... papaya."- Charlie, LOST

"I want happy chatty verbal diahrrea please"-Tom Quinn, MI-5

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Love don't start with the eyes, it starts with the heart.

"What's taters precious?"- Gollum

"If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first."- Jesus Christ

"Here's to the girls on their boards with bruises and scars/Here's to the girls who's fingers bleed from playing guitar/ Here's to anyone who never quit when things got hard./ You'll never let them say you'll never get that far."- Superchic[k]

"Honest, patriotic, Christians don't become drug smugglers! " - A-team

"-Abnormal Psychology? Are you a psychiatrist?
-No, ma'am. I'm insane.
-Oh, well would you like a soda cracker?" - A team

"Invented by amateurs, built by volunteers, piloted by the incredibly nuts." - Flugtag

Current Mood: I was going for thoughtful

So I have a moment of time before I should be jumping into the shower and heading off to church. I figured to try to keep up on this thing since I am extremely better at my other two blogging journals than this one. I'm not even sure why I got this one since I have two others... anywho

I have this sheet of paper on my wall with my name on it and everyone from my Malaysia team wrote adjectives about me. I'm not going to pat myself on the back or anything, but some of them were quite gracious. I don't think I would *ever* call myself wise. But one has stopped me in my tracks for the past month or so now. A male friend wrote, " Motherly Instincts". Now, wanting to be a mother someday, I rather like this term. On the flip side, [and since I like the guy] I really don't want to remind him of HIS mother. It leaves me at a crossroads where I find myself both disliking and liking the same term. The best thing I should do is let it be. Anyway

My friend, Kevin, has this pretty good blog about purity/ sex/ God/ modesty/porn/beauty if anyone is interested they should check it out:
http://womenarepretty.blogspot.com

That's about all I have. Random thoughts. Always random thoughts. Have a great day- remember- it's HIS!

Current Mood: i wonders...

School starts in a week. I'm pretty much prepared for it. Well, I'm prepared in the sense that I haven't gotten any of my books, I'm signed up for classes, but haven't paid for any of them yet, and still need to buy fresh new school socks. (it's almost a tradition. This would be year one. Next year I can call it 'annual' and the year after that i can start adding numeric numbers to it. 'the second annual' and so forth)

I have a new housemate....his name is Rayford. I'll call him Rayford because I want to and this is my journal... so bah. He's much fun. We hung out and watched a dvd of eddie izzard for about an hour or so. He's quite funny for being a british transvestite who looks better in eyeliner than I do. "I like my women like I like my coffee. In a cup" What does that mean?! Anyway

just thought I would blog some goodness on this thing. Almost a month now. It's funny that I blog just to blog and really that's my only reason. Relaxes me really... no particular reason for typing down some random thoughts. Simply having them down for the world to see makes me feel connected like the million dollar man. Everyone knows something ABOUT the million dollar man... maybe they have even seen an obscure episode or two. But to be honest? Most of us just know about him... nothing more. I'm kinda like that guy. don't ask me why. just another random thought I guess! :)

Have a nice night, I'm off to work, yay for me!

Current Mood: curious

It's about 12:25am Central time (you can figure it out where you are at)and I just got done spending some awesome hours with my nephew Owen, and my accountability partner (and ever so groovy friend) Tot.

Now I'm alone and I am quite awake. At a time like this, I would probably consider going to bed. Being unconscious is always an exceptable choice. Unfortunately, my head is swimming with thoughts which will not leave... thus detering the blissful sleep I would be aiming for.

Two months ago, I would simply call up Jon and talk to him until I fell asleep on the phone. While Jon and I are still friends (it does happen that way and in my case, happens quite often) I would find it highly inappropriate to wake him up just to shoot the breeze. If there were an emergency, I would not hesitate to pound out his number... but this is not an emergency. This is no code red... it's like a code beige. If there were such a thing as code beige.

Since our relationship has ended, I have been content. I am not the type of person to cry easily (although my team from Malaysia would disagree) and I must confess I have not cried over the ending of our relationship at all. I have felt saddened at some times, and I do on occasion miss talking to him daily, but I am extremely ok with us reverting back to our friendship state. What I do miss is the intimacy.

Let's get one thing straight: when I speak of intimacy, I don't mean sex. Intimacy does not mean Sex. Got it? Good. I miss the hand holding. I miss the hugs. I miss hearing 'I miss you' when I can't see him, and the way he could make me laugh when I did get to see him.

I'm waiting for God to point me in the right direction. I have a desire to be married. I desire a husband and kids and all that. Ironically the more I look at my qualifications and what I know I am NOT looking for in a husband... it feels as if I'm going to have to leave SoDak to find him. I might even have to leave the midwest area to find him! I'm hoping not to do that, but I'm getting so good at being a world traveller, I might as well. I'm hoping he's as up for traveling as I am!

It's a bitter sweet thought, thinking of my husband. I have no idea when we will meet... if we have already met... when we will get to be together. The thought of him makes me smile, but I have no visual of him... which makes it difficult to consider he is someone I've never met.

Knowing in my heart that I am a child of God's. This makes me a daughter of a king... a princess. The King doesn't give his beloved to anyone... the man has to be worthy... and the daughter ready for marriage. Nothing short of those two basic reasons would cause a father to CONSIDER a man for his daughter. This time for me should be one of gratitude. God has not found someone worthy of me... and I am not ready for marriage. He would know. If I rush ahead of His plans, I am doomed to fail. So I must continue my wait.

Thoughts... thoughts in my head! My nephew, Brady turns 7 in a week... 7! I feel so old! Eric will be 5, Owen is about 1 1/2 and my brother's girlfriend, Sara, is pregnant again. I hope it's a girl (I'll be happy with a boy though too)She is due either in January or February I think. If Rueben were alive, he would be about 4. He died of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) when he was 3 months old. I can talk about it now, but it was hard to trust God at that time. I still miss him every once in a while. I consider how old I will be when I start having children. I'm only 22... I'm still young... but it seems like time is tickin away some days. I do know that if I can't have children, I will adopt. I love children. It is a hard consideration to think that I might not have kids ever in my life. It seems ludicrous to me.

That's about all the time I can muster on such a subject. Didn't mean to get mushy girl deep on you all out there. Must be the time of day or something.

Jumpa lagi,
fitz

Current Mood: lonely

Here I am again... in front of my dear friend, Compt U Terre. This past weekend I have lived with a hoarse voice. I don't feel poor, I just sound like a croaked frog. I rationalized it was because of the weather.

I just returned from Malaysia. Malaysia, a pretty climactically stable country... in the whole month there was not much more than 5 degrees of difference in the heat. It stayed pretty much at 95 the whole time. Where do I live? South Dakota. Is SoDak like Malaysia at all? Not when it comes to the weather.

In truth, SoDak was/is hotter than Malaysia during the June and July months. Apparently it is 'Durian Season' a not-nearly-as-hot-as-other-parts-of-the-year time. Soon it will change with our seasons, but until then...
It wasn't the heat that was my problem. Oh no! It was quite warm there, but I didn't get sick. It was when I returned not just to the states, but to SoDak, that I fell short on the health.

In two weeks the weather has been as hot as 112 degrees and as cold as 61 degrees (I'm not so sure how cold it got at night). Doing the math, that's roughly 50 degrees of difference. 50. To say the least, my body was freaking out. No wonder I have a sore throat! Ugh... SoDak weather.

If you've never been to SoDak, it may surprise you at the dramatic weather change. We have all four seasons, even though spring and fall are only about 6 weeks long respectively. It isn't uncommon (although it is annoying) in the summer months to have days, nay, weeks of 100 degree heat. It isn't uncommon (although it is annoying) in the winter months to have days, nay, weeks of -40 degree heat. At that point, there really is an irony to calling it 'heat'. Most Dakotans (including those crazy northern people above us) are used to it. A blizzard isn't a reason to miss out on work. Freezing rain, maybe. Snowfall doesn't let children out for school. 12 feet of it the night before and the snow plows are unable to clear the streets in time might get the kids out for 1 day. Maybe. The car is bound to overheat in the summer... you learn to shut off your a.c. and unroll the windows so the a.c. doesn't take the cool air from the engine (which is what happens). You also learn to bring water with you to cool off the car when it does overheat. It's all a part of life.

Such is life in the Midwest. I jealously smile at my Seattle friends and their 75 degree heat wave... but in truth I wouldn't appreciate it as much if I never lived here. There is a special kind of secret joy in knowing how much WORSE it could be... most midwestern people are nodding their heads in understanding. While South Dakota really doesn't have a whole lot to do and see... I think the lack of things is enough change to make people really take in the experience for what it's worth. It's a curious thing, being destimulated. All you really do is learn to slow down. There's nothing wrong with that.

Current Mood: hmmm...

Since I'm not feeling the greatest, and in truth I'm not really sure why chose to create a livejournal... I'm not sure what I'm going to put on it. I might put a lot on it. I might put nothing on it. There is very little understanding to who and what I am all about.

You have probably stumbled across something of an extraordinarily mediocre journal. I like the layout...

Hoping that you keep coming back out of sheer curiousity as to how and what I'm going to put on it. Until then, I hope you check out my other online blogs etc. listed below.

Take it easy!
Fitz

http://lyricswithouttherhyme.blogspot.com

www.myspace.com/lyricswithouttherhyme

Current Mood: drained